
I'm sure you never need to apologize, but there have been times in my career when knowing how to do so would have been a real plus.
So how do you apologize without looking as if you are weak or insincere? Author Michael Masterson has some good advice.
There's only one way, according to Michael: You have to resolve - in the most serious way - that you won't behave like that again. You have to think about what you said, why you said it, and try to recognize what signaled your unwanted action.
Get that signal clearly in your mind. Feel it. And then imagine yourself reacting to your spouse in some other, more effective and less harmful, way. Imagine your preferred behavior over and over again until it feels natural.
Once you've trained yourself to have an instinctively good response to the
imagined situation, you'll feel surprisingly confident that you'll be able to handle the real thing. And the truth is... you probably will.
After you've done all this work - and not before - make your apology. Don't humiliate yourself and don't grovel. You made a mistake - one you've made before - but you've also taken the time to correct it. You are no longer the person you were. Your apology should reflect that fact.
Cast your apology in the past tense. Say, "About our argument yesterday. I have given it a good deal of thought and realize my behavior was wrong. I have thought about better ways I could have handled the situation, and will act differently in the future."
If you mean it, it won't hurt so much to say it. And, here's the added bonus: It could save your sales career!







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